I didn't realize this blog was so widely read

On Glee last night, they used a diabetes/insulin analogy to question how people look down on medications for mental illness. Who knew that even Glee writers read my blog? Hee hee.

A friend of mine has recently been going through the "should I start taking anti-depressants" quandry, and this issue of who we are on medication versus who we are off medication came up in our discussions. It reminds me of a reading group I sat in on for some 4-5 sessions once, in grad school. The readings were tough, about identity and self, and the discussions were intense. I mostly sat back and listened, trying to soak up as much as I could. I remember only one thing from those 10 hours. For me, that's actually pretty good.

It was on the sense of "I" or "me", a solid self inside our head. And how that "I" is constantly being constructed by who we are interacting with, who our audience it, and even down to the level of using a language (be it English or another) that has been constructed by others. Even the words each of us has available, with which we define "I" or "me", are not our own. We are not independent of culture on any level. And the notion of a "me" separate from "you" came heavily under scrutiny during those two hours. It was one of those times that make you question a lot of the things you take for granted. And in a way, although we are each alone with our thoughts and feelings, in this way, we are intimately connected to all we come in contact with.

I guess what I most take away from that class, is to question the basis for the questioning about how I might be changed (for the worse, is usually the assumption) by being on anti-depressants. That there is an immutable I out there to be changed in the first place.

In talking with my friend, the use of the word "depression" to mean generally sad also came up. If it wasn't used in everyday speech to mean just sad today, it might be easier to disentangle treating sadness from depression. And all the baggage that comes with that discussion.

Oops. Time to go pick up Baby A.