Sure, I have the gender equity and science education background to do my job. But I'm not an organizer, and I'm supposed to be. I work alone a lot. And although I'm an introvert, I get my energy and focus from interactions with a few key people in a job.
When I sew, I do it at the 75% level - all the seams inside are left raw. Sometimes the edges that you don't see aren't matched. If I can wear it out of the house (the house that is also done at about the 75% level), I consider it done.
And so, I make a kind of crap coordinator. I make a great ideas person. But please don't trust me with your budget or your meeting schedule. I'm easily distracted.
So I feel kind of bad about my job, too. And I wonder what kind of job I should look for next time, so that I don't spend so much of my time being bad at it.
Maybe I can take a quiz for that.
I get that I can't have a job I love all the hours I work it, but honestly, I'd probably pitch myself more at filing or delivering mail (closed ended tasks that don't involve phone calls) for that part. It is boring but I can do it. And now that I have small kids, I'd probably actually find it meditative - like I do with dishes (I get it now...a break from thinking and a feeling of completion without having to send the dishes into time-out).
Still, I have good ideas for the ideas part of my job. So for now I'll stay doing it, and do my best to swallow my pride every time I'm failing at all the little organizational stuff. And send off my missives about power and abuse of power. And forget to file my travel receipts. And what this week's meeting was supposed to be about.
My dog on the other hand, does not suck at her job. Actually she more licks at it. Ahem.
