When am I supposed to walk around in circles on the bedding?

I live in a foreign country, work here, have a dog and husband and bills. Oh, AND A BABY ON THE WAY. And I'm still waiting to feel like an adult. To work on bills ahead of time, organize social life more consistently. Let's face it, to do anything that isn't last minute. Isn't that supposed to be part of "nesting" that pregnant women do? Aren't we supposed to suddenly turn into hens with well organized, donut-shaped piles of little twigs and sticks?

Or is that the mistake I'm making. That nesting just means I suddenly have a bed where the sheets and pillows are arranged for maximum cushiness? And no extra bills are done, no little jars of muesli, beans, and spices are labelled neatly, ready for all the new recipes I'll try, no huge transformation has happened in how my to-do list goes from Orange Alert back to normal?

Because let's face it, I'm proud of the new mega-couch and all, but how far can I stretch the feelings of accomplishment from the furniture/organization blitz last weekend? I mean, I get to claim it (like a dependent on my taxes) only once. Then I think the idea is that I have to do some other stuff to claim I'm being productive.

Ok, it isn't so miserable as all that. I have done a few things late Sunday night, and even got to the butcher's on Saturday (nice man, speaks enough English that I'm ready to go in there for more humanely raised meat from a person I can ask all sorts of questions to) for a great piece of roast. And used that in my godmother's Le Creuset pot.

Funny, the things you choose when you get to pick something from a person's belongings after they pass away. I have no idea what she used to cook in this bright yellow pot, but I'm sure they were healthy and simple, and partly responsible for her long life. And now I cooked something from a butcher in a small village in Switzerland. It was nice. And since I'm not religious, it was one of the closer things to a ritual of continuity (from her to me) that I participated in this weekend.

Ok, so I participated in a a continuum of cooking this weekend. And listened to one hour of a radio show I like from Canada. So I have my few things to claim I was productive about (neither of which removed any paperwork from my life). Maybe I can just be okay with that. And look for a photo or two to put up so this post is a bit more upbeat....



This is a photo that M took, which I really like, of one of Gaudi's residential architectural projects in Barcelona. We were there a few weeks ago, and I had just enough energy for one outing a day, consisting of maybe 2-3 hours of walking/sitting, a nap, and a nice early (8pm say) meal. Very different way of being a tourist from when I was a teenager or in my 20s. And the one tourist thing on my list was to see the cathedral that Gaudi designed. I'll post about it next time, with the few photos we took of the still-in-progress structure. It has been in progress for, what, over 100 years? It doesn't hurt that it is spectacular, down to the concept and inspiration. But there we were, both having seen it 7-10 years ago, seeing it again. A bit more done, and yet still 17 years from completion. There is something about its completion timescale being longer than a human life that adds to the feeling of awe and (strangely) comfort I felt being there.

Gold in the pantry

There is a restaurant in Chicago called Toast. We went there for lunch one day and I remembered one of the things I miss most about the US - breakfasts. With great coffee (even though I don't drink much right now), and great food. Take this stunning example - stuffed french toast. One of each flavor they had: mascarpone, strawberry, and chocolate. With powdered sugar. And berries. Ooh, and look at the fresh squeezed orange juice. I could go on and on...

Not quite the same here in Zurich. Although, they do seem to celebrate the concept of brunch, and Bohemia has french toast on the menu, there is something a bit missing when there is muesli at the buffet and not, well,....that stuffed french toast. No, actually, they do okay when there is a brunch on Saturdays and Sundays. But you can forget the all-night diner and eggs (with tater tots!) at midnight.

So what do you do? Well, you stock up when you visit the US. In my case, you stock up at Whole Foods' baking aisle....whole-grain buttermilk pancake mix, chocolate chip cookie mix, blueberry muffin mix, wheat germ. Oh, I'm sorry. That is what I do. Maybe you just crack open a cookbook, but when it is a Sunday morning, all the shops are closed (all day), you just barely got your shopping done on Saturday, there isn't a bakery open in the whole city and you live outside of town....I whoosh open the pantry, and pull out a box of gold.

Last weekend, it was the pancake mix, carefully measured out so we only used 1/3 of it. I had one egg left to put in it, and then I sliced some of the apples we had. Lovely. Even had maple syrup found at a local store. So good. Someday, the blueberry muffins will make an appearance. If you happen to be over for breakfast that day, you're pretty special. But just know, I may make them just for me and M, and it doesn't mean you're any less special if they are not on that day's menu.

Gold, I tell you. And tastes like home.

I do really like big cities.

A few weeks ago, M and I went back to Chicago and it reminded me how much I like big, vibrant cities. Now, Chicago just happens to have amazing architecture (seen from a boat, a car, walking, the "L", pretty much anywhere. Like this view of the newish Millenium Park downtown from the new bridge that goes up to the new modern art wing of the Art Institute.
They had free open evenings all summer long, on Thursdays and Fridays. The collection of visitors was impressive - regulars, tourists, local families with small kids who may not have been able to afford the high prices during regular hours. And the space is lovely - light wood, huge windows looking out to the park and the skyline, spaces to sit, and to grab a coffee - as M and my cousin D are doing here. The spaces to sit and socialize, discuss the artwork or anything else, were really the nicest addition.
Zurich has its own spaces, but for now, they are not inhabited by friends or family, so they just don't seem as inviting. With time, I have faith that this will change.

Laughing gas

Earlier in the week we went to a 2 hour information evening about the university hospital here in Zurich and its maternity ward. It was all in German, with some photos projected on the screen, which meant that I tried as hard as I could to guess what the photos were about while M tried as hard as he could to understand what they were talking about, and we assume the pupper tried as hard as she could to stay in her crate for the first time in the new apartment. Once in a while, I caught a word I could understand which resulted in some interesting moments.

Blah blah blah blah placenta blah blah blah apple tree blah blah blah. Smirks from the German speakers in the audience. Yeah, I guess you can bring the baby placenta home and bury it in the garden, marking it with a plant or tree. Since we're renting, I'm thinking that option is not one we'll pursue.

Blah blah blah laughing gas blah blah blah. You can get laughing gas during labor.

Blah blah, blah blah, cheese, blah blah. I guess that is what they call the gunk that is all over the baby when it comes out.

Blah blah Kaiser-blahblah, blah blah 20% blah blah. So Kaiser is the same term as Caesar, as in C-section (I'm not even going to pretend I know how to spell it out). This was the part where the image of an operating room was. Complete with wide awake woman, and sheets preventing her (and us in the audience) from seeing what they were doing on the other side. Hmmm. Maybe this is where you opt for the laughing gas so you don't think too much about what is going on behind the sheet. Or maybe laughing is not really the motion you want to be inducing at that point.

All in all, it was a start to thinking about this baby that is on its way. Gave me questions to ask the obstetrician, and some more thinking to do.

How much mental energy does it take to try a new bus stop?

We just came back from some extended travel and spent the day yesterday recovering from jet lag. Well, actually, yesterday was for just making it through until evening. Since I'm up writing at 12:45am, I guess it didn't completely work in my case.

It was chilly outside when we got out of the arrivals terminal, over-stuffed bags intact and import taxes on new kitchen knives and dog bed paid for. Autumn chilly. My sweater and scarf felt warm and cozy instead of headed straight to the laundry basket from a sweaty trip. Great weather - cool and sunny. The dog wasn't due to be dropped off for another 4 hours when we got home so we took a nap and then headed to town for some groceries. And it wasn't sad like I had thought it might be. I didn't miss the US as much as I feared I would (this is where we had spent the week, my first time back since the move here). Many things were familiar, some things were novel, but good.

Eventually, the pupper was brought home from the sitter around 5pm, and we realized there was no dog food, so off to the central train station! We took our usual bus plus tram route, but on the way I noticed, one stop from the usual place we switch, that some trams which go downtown leave from one stop earlier. And I mentioned to M that "maybe we should try switching at that earlier stop some day."

And even though we were both starting to feel tired, and hungry, and slow, this notion wasn't that stressful.

Not like it would have been a month earlier, or even last week when we were frantically preparing for a trip away. I know this point may be obvious for most people, but it really does matter how many new things you have going on at once. When you have 20 things on your list of to-do's and most of them involve health insurance, bills and taxes, taking a new tram from a new stop is just not in the picture. It is too much to keep track of. Same goes for when you have just moved to a new place. If I don't even know where the grocery store is yet, I'm not looking for the quickest way there, just for one, sure-fire way to get there.

Again this reminds me how much there is for people to learn in a new class or museum exhibit. And how the simplest little piece of information can feel like it is made of granite and not about to swiftly hop into your brain anytime soon if you're already saturated trying to learn the overall landscape of information. Context makes such a huge difference. There is no such thing as an "easy" fact.

I thought that this kind of thinking was mostly relegated to academia and high-power jobs (law, medicine), the putting down of someone for not having known something "so trivial." But the reason I bring it up here is that it is also all over one of the forums for expats in this country. I, and many new members, routinely get textually disciplined for having asked a simple question that we "should have taken more time to figure out yourself first." Just like in physics when a professor used to say "you should really go think about this question more and then come back and talk to me."

Great. I'll go do that. Shall we say I go for 17 minutes? How about 23? When does "more" get fulfilled and I have earned the right to come ask you again? I know, I know, sometimes a student hasn't engaged with a problem "enough." And apparently, sometimes a person new to a forum has not sufficiently demonstrated that they have paid some sort of dues. But these are pretty subtle distinctions. This doesn't mean that there won't be people who you feel try to take advantage of your answering questions. I guess, for me, this just means I'd like to stop assuming that someone doesn't deserve an answer or help. I can say that I don't have time to answer a question (although, writing that statement takes as much time as answering some questions), but I think that snap judgement that the asker hasn't earned the right to an answer....well, that is something I think is much less fruitful.

Good luck to me actually putting it to work.

I'll get some photos posted next time.