I've been thinking lately about shoes. My shoes. More specifically, my feet. They don't like many shoes anymore. They never liked many shoes, but these days they seem to like even less. Like heels. They top out at about 2" high cowboy boot heels. And as I've been thinking about how to keep getting rid of clothing, shoes have come under attack here at my house.
There are so many shoes of my size, even (these days a women's 11 or 12 depending on the shape of the toe part), that don't fit me or hurt my feet after only 30 minutes of walking around. I was going to write a post about flat shoes soon. About my hunt for nice, comfy, beautiful, funky flat shoes and my getting rid of my last two pairs of heels.
And then this showed up somewhere in my online reading today. It reads like it may or may not be true. But it doesn't sound far fetched to me.
*sigh*
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Summer and shorts are back
I've had hairy, unshaven legs now for going on 2 years.
In that time I think I've seen one other woman with legs that were not shaved - there is of course the Hairy Legs Club tumblr, but I mean in person. I still don't think they look glamorous. I still don't wear my girliest clothes with them. But I also haven't spent a single minute on leg hair removal in two years.
It's funny, arm hair doesn't look unfeminine to me for some reason. Mine isn't as dark as my leg hair, so that could be part of the reason, but it surprises me how much my own gaze in the mirror stops me from wearing certain clothes with hairy legs.
After having, and nursing, a second baby, I've also lost much of what I used to have up top. My breasts are not coming back, and since they weren't very big to begin with, I've also been spending a lot of days without a bra. Deflategate on my own body comes at a lucky time because recently there seem to be more women in the media spotlight who are protesting how freaked out we get by female nipples. Tiny bikinis are fine, as are male nipples and breasts, but whoa, a female nipple?! Put that thing away. Because,...it is...the only one....that's....um...actually useful?
Men don't have a single purpose for their nipples. Women have evolved to breastfeed babies, and we know they have nipples. Why do they have to pretend they don't?
The other day, my 5 year old daughter saw a guy rollerblading by without a shirt on. And she wanted some of that freedom for riding her bike, too. So, off came her shirt, on came a LOT of sunscreen, and she went on her merry way around the square. And it didn't matter. People here in Zurich are less unsettled by kids being naked at play, but mostly people probably thought she was a boy. Because her hair is cut short (her choice) and "boys can take their shirts off"....otherwise, there is no other way to know if she is a girl or boy because at that age there are no differences when the pants are on. Especially if it takes a short haircut or lack of shirt to indicate to people she might be a boy. The only way people decide is by whether a child is "acting like a girl" or "acting like a boy". Nature, my ass.
In that time I think I've seen one other woman with legs that were not shaved - there is of course the Hairy Legs Club tumblr, but I mean in person. I still don't think they look glamorous. I still don't wear my girliest clothes with them. But I also haven't spent a single minute on leg hair removal in two years.
It's funny, arm hair doesn't look unfeminine to me for some reason. Mine isn't as dark as my leg hair, so that could be part of the reason, but it surprises me how much my own gaze in the mirror stops me from wearing certain clothes with hairy legs.
After having, and nursing, a second baby, I've also lost much of what I used to have up top. My breasts are not coming back, and since they weren't very big to begin with, I've also been spending a lot of days without a bra. Deflategate on my own body comes at a lucky time because recently there seem to be more women in the media spotlight who are protesting how freaked out we get by female nipples. Tiny bikinis are fine, as are male nipples and breasts, but whoa, a female nipple?! Put that thing away. Because,...it is...the only one....that's....um...actually useful?
Men don't have a single purpose for their nipples. Women have evolved to breastfeed babies, and we know they have nipples. Why do they have to pretend they don't?
The other day, my 5 year old daughter saw a guy rollerblading by without a shirt on. And she wanted some of that freedom for riding her bike, too. So, off came her shirt, on came a LOT of sunscreen, and she went on her merry way around the square. And it didn't matter. People here in Zurich are less unsettled by kids being naked at play, but mostly people probably thought she was a boy. Because her hair is cut short (her choice) and "boys can take their shirts off"....otherwise, there is no other way to know if she is a girl or boy because at that age there are no differences when the pants are on. Especially if it takes a short haircut or lack of shirt to indicate to people she might be a boy. The only way people decide is by whether a child is "acting like a girl" or "acting like a boy". Nature, my ass.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Just a day in May
It has been so long since I've written and that usually means that each day that goes by it seems like I should have something even more epic to write. But we all know that isn't how it works.
So here I am. Just because I haven't been in a while.
There are some things I think I've finally learned with the second baby in the house.
1. My clothes aren't "everywhere" for no reason. The more places I store reasonably clean jeans, t-shirt and pajamas, the more likely it is I can wear something reasonably clean even if baby J is sleeping in the room that holds my closet. Same goes for A's and M's clothing. It isn't chaos, its a PLAN.
2. You have to give things up to get other things in life - it is a zero sum game. I needed to simplify life last month, and in addition to getting off of Facebook and Candy Crush for 30 days, I finally started to clean out my closets, inspired by the recent "capsule wardrobe" trend. (Disclaimer: I'm working on a modified capsule wardrobe that does, in fact, include yoga pants and such, because see number 3 below).
3. Whatever you wear at the dining table is basically an extension of the baby's bib. Don't wear black. Or what you plan to wear to work that day. Or anything that doesn't incorporate 3-4 pastel babyfood colors in riotous print. Unless you want to change after the meal.
4. Part of simplifying was getting extra trips to the second hand store in to donate old clothes. So something else had to give. Some days, that was recycling and I just tossed glass babyfood jars in the garbage instead of taking 30 seconds to clean them. Having less clothing and toys around as a result of that time that was reallocated has made a net positive difference in my life.
5. Sleep training was useful last year, but really, apart from letting baby J cry a bit to settle into naps, we are finally getting enough sleep that it is okay by us if he still wakes once a night some nights. Or takes a bottle. Actually, this point is about the power of waiting (or rather, being able to wait because the way things are isn't damaging to health and happiness of the family) until a child is developmentally more than ready for a next step. And the calm that it brings and the minutes or hours it returns to your life. The number of times I fought with A about her pacifier, trying to get her to give it up at 1 year old, 1.5, 2 and 2.5 and 3 years old...those add up to a lot of lost time I could have just chilled out. Rested. Or had a better interaction with her. Because, when she was ready to give it up at 3.5 years, it took 2 nights of 15 min crying each. Done, easy. Trying to push a child at the first possible moment he or she is ready takes way more work than waiting when they're totally ready and maybe a bit past ready. What a difference in quality of relationship it makes!
That's what I've got today.
6. I almost forgot - conditioner. As far as my hair is concerned, the only thing conditioner does for me is make it necessary for me to wash my hair the next day because by then it looks greasy. I'm done for a while with conditioner. I shampoo and leave it. For 3 days sometimes, and it looks just fine. It makes conditioner and hair products seem like a total scam.
So here I am. Just because I haven't been in a while.
There are some things I think I've finally learned with the second baby in the house.
1. My clothes aren't "everywhere" for no reason. The more places I store reasonably clean jeans, t-shirt and pajamas, the more likely it is I can wear something reasonably clean even if baby J is sleeping in the room that holds my closet. Same goes for A's and M's clothing. It isn't chaos, its a PLAN.
2. You have to give things up to get other things in life - it is a zero sum game. I needed to simplify life last month, and in addition to getting off of Facebook and Candy Crush for 30 days, I finally started to clean out my closets, inspired by the recent "capsule wardrobe" trend. (Disclaimer: I'm working on a modified capsule wardrobe that does, in fact, include yoga pants and such, because see number 3 below).
3. Whatever you wear at the dining table is basically an extension of the baby's bib. Don't wear black. Or what you plan to wear to work that day. Or anything that doesn't incorporate 3-4 pastel babyfood colors in riotous print. Unless you want to change after the meal.
4. Part of simplifying was getting extra trips to the second hand store in to donate old clothes. So something else had to give. Some days, that was recycling and I just tossed glass babyfood jars in the garbage instead of taking 30 seconds to clean them. Having less clothing and toys around as a result of that time that was reallocated has made a net positive difference in my life.
5. Sleep training was useful last year, but really, apart from letting baby J cry a bit to settle into naps, we are finally getting enough sleep that it is okay by us if he still wakes once a night some nights. Or takes a bottle. Actually, this point is about the power of waiting (or rather, being able to wait because the way things are isn't damaging to health and happiness of the family) until a child is developmentally more than ready for a next step. And the calm that it brings and the minutes or hours it returns to your life. The number of times I fought with A about her pacifier, trying to get her to give it up at 1 year old, 1.5, 2 and 2.5 and 3 years old...those add up to a lot of lost time I could have just chilled out. Rested. Or had a better interaction with her. Because, when she was ready to give it up at 3.5 years, it took 2 nights of 15 min crying each. Done, easy. Trying to push a child at the first possible moment he or she is ready takes way more work than waiting when they're totally ready and maybe a bit past ready. What a difference in quality of relationship it makes!
That's what I've got today.
6. I almost forgot - conditioner. As far as my hair is concerned, the only thing conditioner does for me is make it necessary for me to wash my hair the next day because by then it looks greasy. I'm done for a while with conditioner. I shampoo and leave it. For 3 days sometimes, and it looks just fine. It makes conditioner and hair products seem like a total scam.
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