If you put that shoe on, I'll give you a Snicker's bar

So things are our house are not at that point. I'm a big proponent of "no motivating with food", since there are some issues on that count among the adult population of A's family. Be it dieting, or not, or sneaking a whole bar of white chocolate the other night when I wasn't even hungry and already watching an hour of bad TV, I'd rather my daughter not think of food as an emotional aid.

And yet, I use it as one, her father does, too. As do many people in her family. Even as simple as us not really being present and accounted for until that coffee is ready.

I scoffed at the "piece of candy for using the potty" idea, until I was on a transatlantic flight with a kid who isn't always excited about using the toilet, and perhaps a bit wary of the airplane bathroom. I just didn't want to regress back to both diapers AND a pacifier (and the pacifier was in seat 16 F for the long haul). So I shelled out, last minute at obscene airport prices for a box of mini chocolate bars, and she got one each time she went to the bathroom on the trip. I'm not talking a rice cracker snack incentive, I'm talking a shot of milk or dark chocolate for each trip. And since she's not that fond of toilets, it didn't translate to us going there every 15 minutes. But she did tell me she needed to go - it got her over the roadblock. And it was just for the plane and airports.

I'm a big fan of the contained breaking of rules. So even though I'm now thinking that perhaps a small snack from the raisin/peanut/Smarties jar we got as a birthday party favor isn't worse than all the loud voices, emotional and physical manipulation we resort to with 5 minutes to get out the door. Or maybe I need to bring back the iPad/iPhone games privilege in the mornings. Because getting A ready to leave for school is just sucking my soul out of my nose these days.

The dread of those 15 minutes (our experiments have ranged from 5 min to 30 min) before having to get out the door is starting to creep into most mornings. We have breakfast together at the table, for, at least 30 minutes. There is a bit of time to play. There is the option to choose one's own clothing if one helps getting ready. There is the option to stay in one's pajama's until after breakfast, wet saggy diaper and all. There are so many things we've tried, that this issue is still waiting for some breakthrough.

And although it may be a video game, I'm going to have to consider food, too. My child, like the dog, and her parents, is food motivated. What can I say to that? Will work for food. Entire family will work for food. Especially since I'd rather not become the authoritarian, bitchy mom instead.

I wonder what kind of morning snack I could be offered to have more patience during "getting out the door time". Hmmmm...