Work of Art

There is a show available on iTunes, called Work of Art, similar to other reality competitions in that contestants compete on challenges and get critiqued at the end of each episode. One wins, and one is sent home at the end of each challenge.

I really love this show - watching the creative process for artists has demystified art for me somewhat. It has made it more approachable. And instead of constantly guessing the wrong answer about who does well and not, like with Project Runway, I can usually guess who will do well. Turns out, art freaks me out (and confuses me) less than fashion does.

I'm feeling a bit like one of the artists at the bottom of the pack today, though. I've been stressed out this week, and feeling like I have too much to do, given that A's birthday is coming up (as are multiple celebrations), and I'm planning a special meal for Thanksgiving tomorrow night (even though I said no to invitations elsewhere), and still last minute shopping for A's gifts. All last minute. After a weekend spent with some stomach flu and sinus colds in the house. And another early-term miscarriage.

The cupcakes are now falling apart as they cool. And I catch myself swearing at them. At chocolate cupcakes.  And I realize that I've created a lot of my own problems this week. My kid is 3 years old - she's not going to be super picky about presents, about homemade vs. store bought cake, about anything. She's rather be playing with some of the toys she has already gotten, and here I've been snapping at her, trying to rush her to get dressed and out the door. When I should have been playing with her and enjoying this time. Especially if something like having another kid is on my mind.

So I've now heard the judges' critique...."this week, you lost sight of what the actual challenge was - to celebrate your daughter's birthday in a way that is meaningful to her. Instead, you spent time making something to blog about, or trying to be interesting. You missed the mark. We find your mothering, ingenuine."

At the end of the day, I guess I've also been using all this hustle and bustle as an excuse not to sit at my desk at work and actually work. To just get my mind off of things. Which, really, makes it okay. It doesn't need to be that A needed homemade cupcakes and a special set of parties, it can be that I needed to do these things this week.