What's your excuse?

A while ago this showed up around the internet:

http://allfacebook.com/maria-kang-whats-your-excuse_b125960

This mom of three who is looking pretty toned. It was supposed to be something motivational, or a challenge I guess, to other mothers to go work out. I found it mildly insulting. Other people found it even more insulting.

It came to mind again, today, as I was reading through a mommy blog, written by someone who sounds like the world's most gentle mom. Her toddler hits her newborn, and she gently asks him if he wants to hold the baby instead of yelling at him. Her 2 1/2 year old is biting while nursing, she finds ways to redirect his behavior. And on and on. I'm in awe. I'm dejected, because that household is never going to be my household. I'm thinking how I would have yelled at the slapping toddler. And how far I have to go to be anywhere close to that grounded.

And then I catch myself. I've let the critics in again, and I'm tired of doing that. Not this time. Because it is just another, perhaps even more insidious for its gentle mask, form of "What's your excuse?" It is another version of "If I can (give birth at home/breastfeed until 3 years old/have perfect abs and three kids/do something really well), why can't you?"

I don't need an excuse. I don't need to be like her or her or, even, her. I can wish I was sometimes, it might give me ideas to implement. But I'm not any of them. I'm me. She can weather any toddler storm with poise, I can get an "A" in General Relativity. She can have abs like that, I can enjoy the hell out of a lot of chocolate and naps. None of us "wins" because it shouldn't be a race. There isn't a limit on awesome or beauty in this world. It isn't conserved in such a way that if one women gets some, another woman can't. I'm not competing.

So, I guess my excuse is, doing what you do wouldn't make me happy. And vice versa. And that is all the excuse any of us needs.