Ribbons, bows, hearts and butterflies

I'm sorting through A's baby clothes, which have been in the basement, getting out the 3-6 month things for the coming baby boy. It is going to be a boy.

As I go through more things, I get more upset. (Surprise, surprise)

I always thought we did a good job of having a mix of clothing for A that wasn't so pink and girly. That was just colorful. But, as I encounter a small bow here, a lace edge there, a ruffle (on the front or on the sleeve), I find myself putting the item to the side to my "give away since this is our last kid and it is a boy" pile.

The pile is growing, and with it my sense of sadness. Why can't a boy wear these items? Why don't I think he can? For the littlest clothes, I find I keep most, but at around 12 months, I have started to cull. And around 24 months, for sure.

24 months? Just 2 years old and somehow there are prescriptions for what boys definitely can not wear. They are very clear in my head. Two. Years.

He won't be talking yet, and yet I'm putting away things as "not for him."

These are for 3-4 year olds. They're out. Glitter, bows, ruffles, hot pink, flowers. Dresses.

For a 3 month old, and yet, I can't bring myself to get past the ruffles on the front. What is going on?

18 months. The brown with pink and blue polka dots don't get to me, it is the ruffled waistline that does. Hmm.

9 months. I decide to keep it. This boy can wear flowers - why are flowers and purples not for boys?

6 months old - again, I decide to keep it. Even though it was originally in the give away pile. What, boys don't like flowers? Do flowers stop the flow of blood to their "man" parts?

A top. The colors are fine, the ruffle, I can't handle.

Light pink, 9 months, I can deal, right? Nope. Lace on the cuffs.

Ok, so at some point I notice my discomfort is somewhat about what we put girls in. Or at least that what is considered feminine is somehow an insult to a male, even if he is just 9 months old. My daughter sure didn't need lace on her legs at that age for any functional reason. And I have never been offended if someone mistook her, in her shorts and t-shirt, for a boy. They usually spoke more normally to her.

Maybe some of my discomfort is in how they might speak to my son if they think he's a girl. "You're so pretty! What a pretty dress!" Kind of demeaning.

Not much less so when that is all that a person can come up with to say to my daughter, either.

In the end, I've kept some hot pinks and some flowers. I've kept, gasp, butterflies. I've kept things with some embellishments on them.

I hope I'm woman enough to let him wear them.