Well shit on a shingle

We are back to square one.

Baby A came home Saturday afternoon, we had a sort of ok night (better then ever before at home apart from the first day we had switched to all formula), and thought the next nights would just get better.

Wrong.

Nope.

Didn't happen. Got worse until, here we are again, it is just like before we left. Ok, not exactly like - she is back on an every 3.5 - 4 hours feeding schedule, getting more at each feeding but less often. She is in her crib for all but a few naps, but the hammock has beer retired. And breastfeeding is, actually, going really well. Better than every before. Somewhat I think thanks to her being hungry at mealtimes, but also because I have learned to trust her when she pushes my body away just slightly - I think it changes something enough that she is then more comfortable. Yes, that's right, my baby has learned to milk me. Again, I feel like a cow. In the best possible meaning of that term.

But back to the sleeping. It is eerie how much it is almost exactly like before the hospital, and this gives me a lot of confidence back. In all we were trying. We didn't wind up with a hammock and swaddling and white noise because of an outdated habit. It is the same stuff we have started to gravitate back to when the hospital methods just don't work. We can't, for the life (and I do mean life) of us get that weird sleep schedule to get any better.

The hospital log sheets show 5 and 6 hour stretches of sleep with just one or two "pop the binky back in and nothing else" marks in them. 4 nights there were like this. And here, whether M and I are both in our room with the door open, or one of us is sleeping in her room, or coming from the living room, "pop the binky back in" just doesn't send her back to sleep. We've mimicked their rolled up towel body pillow, put her in a pajama at bedtime, stopped using white noise or any music, let her naps be short if they will, fed her formula and breastmilk, put her to nap with butt patting instead of bouncing....everything they did. None of it makes a bit of difference. She is once again waking and pooing or farting really hard.

Which leads to a few last ideas (because honestly, I'm running out and I can go pretty damn far when I try), in an attempt to be thorough...

1. that she is allergic to something I stopped eating while at the hospital (I changed my diet there a bit - no eggs, almost no chocolate, lots of carbs and protein) and started again when we got home. The biggest suspect is eggs - I had them for breakfast the day things went back to bad, and in a protein shake for lunch, in powder form. I've been off them and chocolate, tomatoes, berries, citrus and soy (had sushi just before bringing her home) since Saturday. Sleep is no better. Not even marginally, at night. We had one great, calm nap yesterday where putting the binky back in worked. But night, back to hell. 3 hours of sleep for her, then 2, then hours then less.

2. the doctor suggested she may have picked up a stomach bug at the hospital. great. Might explain those mucus poops, but not the pattern that went back to like before.

3. The apartment? I mean, we have had 6 different people work on her sleep, so it isn't like she wakes up just for me. She has slept in the living room for weeks, in our room for weeks, in the guest room for weeks. So it isn't a room. It isn't one of us, at least not directly, behaviorally. What else is here? Some irritant or allergen? Could it be the dog? Or some noise that happens at the same times each day? Is the kid psychic or picking up Wi-Fi signals? But why would that impact tummy issues and farting?

4. The nurses at the hospital lied, gave her sedatives, or something not noted. Do I think this is likely? Of course not. But what do I have left?

So, I've tried to make my diet more like at the hospital. We could try taking her for a few days to someone else's house or a hotel to test #3. Or back to the hospital and I stay up at night to watch what magic those nurses worked on her to get such great sleep patterns.

Anyone have something I haven't thought of? Because our lives are once again at the precipice of little sleep and less hope.

Oh, and it isn't the laws of physics in the apartment. Lamps still only turn on when plugged in, and I dropped a piece of buttered bread this morning. It landed butter side down. So physics, in order.