Tampons and maxi-pads

Why do I even worry about typing in that title?

Why does it even warrant a second thought, as if those are swear words?

A few weeks ago, on the morning of my 40th birthday, I broke out in a rash. Well, I may have broken out in that rash in the middle of the night. Not sure. But by morning, I was fully broken.

The doctor told me she thought it was an allergic reaction and we went through possible culprits I may have engaged with recently: nuts (check), shellfish (check), new body wash (check - even if you ARE a bar soap person, how can you not start using the bodywash in your new, not-for-sale-in-Europe shampoo and soap dispenser?), new creams (check - or at least ones not used in a while). Well, hell. So now I might be allergic to nuts and Body Shop products?

Dang.

We even decided together to chuck the menstrual cramp meds I started taking the day before I broke out. Oops. I did it again. This time I wrote the word "menstrual." Seriously, why is that such a problem? Have we all forgotten that women's periods are the reason any of us exist?

Well, the anti-histamines worked. My skin calmed down. I have since eaten nuts and shellfish. And used some of those creams. No problem.

And then I pulled out the one other, new thing I hadn't remembered I'd bought. Maxi-pads. With some horrible "scented, anti-smell" pearl "technology." Because, what, showering isn't an option when you have your period? You have only one pad for the the whole week of....ok, sorry, if you're not a woman that may have been just a bit too much for your delicate sensibilities. I apologize. Please, try to forget that imagery, and continue playing Grand Theft Auto. Anyway, I have decided the culprit was the perfumy pads. They have been since banished from the house. The rash was worse on my stomach and thighs, and that is evidence enough. (Well, thanks to my cousin L, I was reminded that I didn't have to go do the scientific thing and actually try them out on myself again.).

I threw them out and then looked for other pads. Single ones, loose in the house in various handbags and pockets. And it made me wonder why I have to be so embarrassed to pull one out of a bag while searching for something else. I don't turn shades of red when I unpack a pack of unused tissues (because that's what we're talking about here, unused, people). I once worked with a guy, back in college so he must have been mid 20s, who told me that a box of tampons in a woman's bathroom was as good as an international border. He couldn't even bear to reach his had over one. We're talking international border, airspace included.

It would be nice if people weren't so squeamish about this stuff. Which, as usual, means I need to also start acting more normal about it. But this is just me thinking. There will likely be no action taken. I'm not now going to go out and find a maxi-pad shaped iPhone holder or anything. But can you imagine pulling that out of your pocket and answering it?