Rhubarb and country hospitals

So the first rhubarb of the season showed up on the on-line grocery service we use, and it finally made it into my first compote of the season. Rhubarb, prunes, blueberries, strawberries and honey. I'm never using sugar again after last year's great turnout with the honey. Yum. Bring on the amazing fruit, and maybe some more sun and warmth while we're at it.

Ah, right, you are probably tuning in for the second part of the story. Well, after my very unsatisfactory call with the sleep expert, turns out she felt exactly the same way, and left a message on the house phone about another option for us. Well, I don't really check the messages on the house phone, ever. I should change our message on there to make that clear, huh?

Turns out there is a program run out of a hospital with a counseling/psych department, which deals specifically with moms and tough to read babies. You stay in house for weeks. They video tape you and the baby (and dads, too). They analyze the tapes to look for subtle cues that can help you understand the baby better. They look at sleep patterns, and at how you interact with the baby. They have a daycare which gives moms time to sleep, to talk to doctors and counselors, to recuperate. And, I hope, to learn to bond better.

So, yes, the Swiss never cease to amaze me. I'm all ready to throw in the red towel with the white cross on it, and Bam! Jingle, they bring out an amazing program like this. We go there soon. I can't wait.

And at the same time, I can. Just knowing there is hope, even the tiniest bit, does wonders in a hopeless situation. Just the smallest splinter afloat, that can take even a little of the weight off your shoulders, makes it all bearable. For the next days. I can hang in there, I can even stop worrying so much about what each individual night will be like, because once again, help is on the way. I can put down my incessant wondering what causes the sleepless nights, because someone else has said they will step up and take over for a while.

It is good. Really good.

And in the meantime, there are also rules in place at home to help us out. The schedule can bite me, for all I care, the baby comes first. More importantly, my interactions with her come first. Those have to be as good as possible. Also, M is my backup for night waking/feedings. He takes her when I've woken up in the middle of a sleep cycle and am not in a calm place. And having that partner there is really nice. Who am I kidding - it is vital.

We've even made another leap in getting things done in the apartment and now have 5 out of 6 ceiling lights installed. By Friday, it may be 6 out of 6. The guest couch comes next, and who knows what wonderful things will follow. People may come over. They may stop asking if we've just moved in. The dog might stop obsessing about cats. Ok, maybe not that.

It is a good day today.