Just a day in May

It has been so long since I've written and that usually means that each day that goes by it seems like I should have something even more epic to write. But we all know that isn't how it works.

So here I am. Just because I haven't been in a while.

There are some things I think I've finally learned with the second baby in the house.

1. My clothes aren't "everywhere" for no reason. The more places I store reasonably clean jeans, t-shirt and pajamas, the more likely it is I can wear something reasonably clean even if baby J is sleeping in the room that holds my closet. Same goes for A's and M's clothing. It isn't chaos, its a PLAN.

2. You have to give things up to get other things in life - it is a zero sum game. I needed to simplify life last month, and in addition to getting off of Facebook and Candy Crush for 30 days, I finally started to clean out my closets, inspired by the recent "capsule wardrobe" trend. (Disclaimer: I'm working on a modified capsule wardrobe that does, in fact, include yoga pants and such, because see number 3 below).

3. Whatever you wear at the dining table is basically an extension of the baby's bib. Don't wear black. Or what you plan to wear to work that day. Or anything that doesn't incorporate 3-4 pastel babyfood colors in riotous print. Unless you want to change after the meal.

4. Part of simplifying was getting extra trips to the second hand store in to donate old clothes. So something else had to give. Some days, that was recycling and I just tossed glass babyfood jars in the garbage instead of taking 30 seconds to clean them. Having less clothing and toys around as a result of that time that was reallocated has made a net positive difference in my life.

5. Sleep training was useful last year, but really, apart from letting baby J cry a bit to settle into naps, we are finally getting enough sleep that it is okay by us if he still wakes once a night some nights. Or takes a bottle. Actually, this point is about the power of waiting (or rather, being able to wait because the way things are isn't damaging to health and happiness of the family) until a child is developmentally more than ready for a next step. And the calm that it brings and the minutes or hours it returns to your life. The number of times I fought with A about her pacifier, trying to get her to give it up at 1 year old, 1.5, 2 and 2.5 and 3 years old...those add up to a lot of lost time I could have just chilled out. Rested. Or had a better interaction with her. Because, when she was ready to give it up at 3.5 years, it took 2 nights of 15 min crying each. Done, easy. Trying to push a child at the first possible moment he or she is ready takes way more work than waiting when they're totally ready and maybe a bit past ready. What a difference in quality of relationship it makes!

That's what I've got today.

6. I almost forgot - conditioner. As far as my hair is concerned, the only thing conditioner does for me is make it necessary for me to wash my hair the next day because by then it looks greasy. I'm done for a while with conditioner. I shampoo and leave it. For 3 days sometimes, and it looks just fine. It makes conditioner and hair products seem like a total scam.