You talk what you want to talk

"Ma-ma. You talk what you want to talk and I talk what I want to talk. ok?"

It is amazing the power of humans to not notice the extent of some of our own behaviors. I was convinced that I mostly speak to A in Lithuanian when she and I are alone, and only spoke to her in English around M or with my friend.

And that she has stopped speaking Lithuanian due to some small change I've made. Not speaking enough once in a while. It was really emotional to be asking her to say words in Lithuanian and hear her refuse. To see her get upset if I asked her to speak it. What was I going to do? How was I going to make it something she wanted to do, instead of something forced (by withholding playing with her or something else horrible like that)?

I was going to start making Lithuanian kids videos! Yes! And find a summer camp in Lithuania to go to after our other travel this summer. And buy more books. Did I mention the Lithuanian Sesame Street that was slowly being planned in my head?

That quote above is something she started saying in response to my asking her to speak Lithuanian with me. Sigh. Heart-gripping sigh.

Ok, little one. Ok. I'll just keep speaking it. And planning and trying not to get too overbearing.

And 3 days later, I've now realized that I really had been speaking less Lithuanian. Because now that I'm back to all the time we're together, there are phrases she is parroting back ("Do you want white or blue?") in Lithuanian instead of answering only in English. I'm able to bring it back, without having to ask.

And sometimes we are both talking what I wanted her to talk.