The first sprouts

I like to think that much of the time that I pour into trying to understand myself better, leads to me being a better parent as well. And, conversely, that the time I spend trying to parent more calmly, lovingly, well, leads to benefits in myself. Well, and that all of that also impacts A.

And now, in the middle of another big push of "parenting tune-up", I'm seeing some really lovely things sprouting up from all those seeds I had hoped were being planted with all the hard emotional work.

A has started to thank both me and her father for making dinner or breakfast. Just, out of the blue. She's really shy talking to many other people, and may not even say thank you, at all, to others. Not for a chocolate, a toy, a gift. We figure she'll get there eventually, and have not pushed her much past "it is nice to say Thank You." We don't require it. But we do say a lot of thank you's in the house around things like dinner and breakfast, among the adults. And it seems, just sitting there and watching, that A has taken to that habit. A very good lesson about living and practicing, instead of preaching.

And a few times recently, I have found myself so frustrated with our clash of wills, and confused about how to proceed, that all I can do is say "I'm not sure what to do!"

This, too, has been observed, and, it seems, assimilated.

The other morning I told A that I needed another 5 minutes to sleep, that I'm cranky in the mornings, and that if she really really wanted to get out of bed, it should be without pacifier (she needs to be awake enough to not need it, for my morning person to want to hang out with her morning person) and with diaper changed to underpants and pants. She protested a bit. Somewhat louder than in a talking voice. I re-iterated. And then she sighed loudly, and said "I don't know what to do!"

I asked her if she was having a hard time choosing, and she said "yes."

And then she had "an idea, Mama." She decided to go to the diaper/underpants switch first, pacifier in mouth, and then put the pacifier away. Totally acceptable to me, and a great solution.

This kid is awesome.