One of those days

Apparently I cannot italicize something in the title of a blog post. I meant to write those. See? It worked perfectly the first time here. Huh. Oh well, kind of goes along with the post.

It is one of those days. It was, even before I woke up. At the end of a dream of being disappointed by someone who told me they would proofread my writing and then didn't until later than the deadline. I woke up pissed off at that person. Or, if I'm more honest with myself (and we all know how far I can take that kind of thinking), I was hurt. By a dream about a person who has hurt me in real life, too.

This means I was in a mood this morning. Which probably quickly passed over to A. M got a healthy helping of it, too, when I brought up something he did a few days ago, which, if I had done, I think I'd have gotten a talking to from him. Confused yet? I didn't give him a talking to about that thing that day, but what I mostly wanted to say was "see, this is how you don't hold people responsible for things that aren't their fault." In the end it came out more of a "how come you didn't grovel like I would have had to if our roles were reversed?" This proceeded to confuse him further. So he continued putting on his coat and went to take the dog for her morning pee.

I then managed to get into a toddler argument, and one of the more poorly executed time-outs in recent history. There was a lot of leg holding. And saying "no" without it really helping get me closer to what I wanted. As soon as A gets wound up, by something I did or something the rest of the universe did, she acts up. And if you can't get back to happy space, it goes downhill quickly. With kicking, wriggling, "no!" and such. Let me be clear, that last sentence was what she did this morning, although I wouldn't be surprised if you thought I was talking about myself.

Turns out, it is one of those days. When my mood is down, depressed, and it is physically overwhelming. I don't get pain from depression like some people do. But it is a pretty strong force to be reckoned with. I also don't usually cry while watching the final drum "battle" scene from a movie on YouTube. I usually move and air drum along. It inspires me. Nope, this morning, it was all I could do to not keep crying while talking with M about how we will drive A to every practice and competition if she ever signs up for drum corps.

So I am still in my pajamas, and I'm undoing the seams in one of the duvet covers I bought at a second hand store (and already washed in super hot water and lots of detergent). I could try to measure out the slipcover for the body pillow (also out of a used sheet I bought), but that would involve using a tape measure, and since I can't find mine right now, this could easily lead to more crying. And I draw the line at crying over a misplaced tape measure. I can eye-ball it if I really want to make that pillow case.