Ist es möglich, in Englisch zu sprechen?

I may have mentioned before how much I hate talking on the phone. That dislike is multiplied manyfold when it means speaking in German (possibly Swiss German) about anything I'm not well versed in in terms of vocabulary (I'm pretty good at symptoms of illness that toddlers and their parents tend to have, as well as talking about things that are broken in my apartment). When it comes to work-related things, I'm hopeless. I have Google translate open on my browser, but it takes one or two unfamiliar words from the other end of the line to knock me off my game completely and default to "Is it possible to speak in English, I apologize, please thank you."

Today there are two German calls on my list and they are the sorts of things (one for work, related to the university, and one about bank charges and apartment deposit info) that are so hard for me to actually sit down and do that I get to watch a movie if I want if I just make these two calls. There have been so many times that an interaction in German just went south, as soon as the person I'm talking to didn't understand either what I was asking or was classically bad at simplifying their own vocabulary and slowing talking. Seriously, people, have you not ever played charades or talked with a child? You can't just slur all the words together, or assume that I'm just poorly intentioned.

Well, I just made the first call, which gets put in the "good experiences where no one yelled at me" pile. The first person I called at the advertising division answered, was older, I thought "crap, I'm going to crash and burn", and when I asked the "Can we speak in English?" question, said "Nein, Spanisch, Italienish oder Deutsch." I almost cried out in happiness - Spanish I can do. Spanish, I have a personality and confidence in, even if my vocabulary is limited. I can get along well enough, and I don't break out in a sweat. Turns out, he was in deliveries, and the guy in charge of advertising schedules spoke English. And was nice. And informative. And I feel great about the call.

The next one, is our old rental company. And the woman I'm calling is actually friendly, but she is also not of the "I'll meet you halfway with simplified German". So, I have my three questions sitting on the Google translator window, and I'm about to jump off the cliff again.

Here goes.

Engaged & Underage

& helping me practice German.

That's right, along with Shopping Queen (a German show, no subtitles, snarky male fashionista commenting on women's shopping challenge), and MTV's Made. Because when you start to think about the lowest bar possible, how to make it the easiest to listen to and read German, guilty, embarrassing television shows are it for me.

German language soap operas were just not doing it for me. Like American ones never really did. He's sleeping with her, and she is their daughter but they don't know it and now he is secretly meeting him. Ok.

Give me some real people. And shopping. Or teenage wedding plans. Might as well put my not-so-noble taste in TV to good use. The MTV shows are in English, with German subtitles, or with German dubbing on about 1 second delay. So I'm listening to English and then reading or hearing the German that goes with it. I may not learn much that will help at work, but I'm really getting comfortable with the German for married, in-laws, too young, wife, husband, forever, and "shut up!"

As for the German shopping competition show, that one is all in German and no subtitles. That is for mornings when I want a challenge as well as to judge what people's taste in clothing is. After that one, any grant writing I do will be full of catty comments.

Finally, I'm also at the point where I'll start trying to have coffee dates in German. With people I already know and like. Who make me laugh, or who can talk as fast as I can, who I have things I really want to talk about with. That is the more high-brow way, for sure.

But there are just so many hours of the day that can be spent having coffees. For all other times, there's instant Nescafe and recorded MTV shows in place of reading Facebook.

I don't want to share my toys anymore

Every time my friend I and I go to this one park in Zurich with our kids, one of our plastic sand toys manages to disappear. Even with our kids’ names written on them. Another child will carry one away and it somehow makes its way into another stroller or diaper bag.

Now, I realize that we all have IKEA sand toys around here. And yellow IKEA kitchen funnels. And all other things plastic from IKEA. But, c’mon. Don’t steal our toys. Don’t let your kid walk off with another child’s toy. I want to be able to loan kids toys at the park. I think it makes for a nice sense of community, especially if you’ve just stumbled on this great new spot with the water fountain and your kids would loooooove to play in it. I’m a big supporter of magical, surprise moments like that, for my kid and yours.

Just stop taking our toys home, ok?

It happened again yesterday (I’m going to start bringing Tupperware containers instead), but otherwise we had a lovely time at the park. The water feature was on, the kids stripped down to diapers and less, and loads of cute little toddler butts were braving the freezing water to splash and pour and play. And once in a while, pee.

Water play is such a big thing for kids. Baby A loves baths, splashing with buckets and cups and the baby pool on the balcony, fountains, sinks. You name it, if there is liquid, she’ll play (down to the water in her bottle at breakfast or the cup of milk on the table). Do they gain intuition from it? Is it just fun and then they have to stop playing at some point? Is it an integral part of the conservation of volume understanding? Is it just this crazy substance that you can touch but not grab?

It makes you buoyant. It slips through your fingers. It helps you slide across a rubber mat on the lawn. It makes dry bread easier to swallow. Plants need it to grow. You float in it as an embryo. Dogs love to play in it.

Sorry, I’m tired this morning and the cleaning lady came early so I am biding my time outside the house, at a café, having a hard time thinking much or writing well. I have my Swiss magazine and my iPhone German-English translator helping me read the article titles. Let’s be honest – I’m understanding about 50% of them even with the help of 2-4 words looked up per title.

And since I’m being random and uninspired today, I’ll mention that I’m still on my clothes and house decoration buying Lent. Which I’m happily surviving, partially by taking existing clothing to the tailor in our village to take in, let out, fix and such. I even got the curtains down there for a proper hemming. Now the baby’s room blue shower curtain is no longer staple-hemmed. My Target denim shirt fits my shoulders and my waist (this doesn’t happen often to me). On Mother’s Day, I even wore a dress from 3 years ago purchase, that was too tight on my arms, because he’d loosened the arm holes. Oh, and let’s not forget shoes. I brought in a pair of Teva sandals I bought last summer to move the tie loops so they fit my foot. Amazing what you can find to wear, in your closet.

Familiarity breeds content

Everything is new this year. Everything is unfamiliar. My address, my phone number, my furniture, the language I need to speak in to do my shopping and errands everyday, a baby, my body, my shoe size, the "usual" things I cook and eat, banking and bill paying, garbage and recycling rules, the seasons, the customs, the holidays, the sky and the landscape, where to find light bulbs and baking soda, the people in my life.

It is all new, all at once. It gets overwhelming sometimes. To a point where I've realized how much I need to burrow into familiarity every few days. I seek out Starbucks, or an English-speaking butcher, or the International Herald Tribune's daily crossword, just to feel a bit less adrift sometimes. And no, I'm not currently learning German. I know a bit, but I'm still learning mothering, and expat-ing, and stay-at-homing, and all these other skills.

I confessed to M the other day that I don't know if I actually have the capacity left in me to learn the 3, randomly assigned, German articles that take the place of the English "the." I really feel like I may not have the brain space left for them. Vocabulary words, nouns, I'm adding a few every few months. But imagine then needing to learn a second part of each word. I don't think there is room left.

So I watch BBC on TV instead of the local channels. I ask visitors to bring Whole Foods peanut butter and oatmeal. I have images of New England on my computer wallpaper. It keeps me a bit more sane in a sea of novelty.

I've realized, too, that although I still have my friend-making skills, my life right now makes it near impossible to keep up with them like I would have pre-baby A. So I'm feeling a bit disconnected. Like I've said "I'd love to, but we can't right now," a few too many times this month. How many times can a person regretfully decline invitations before they stop being invited to things?

I guess I'm going to find out.