Control control control

Ohmigodseriously, stop. Just stop, I tell myself after the fact. Stop trying to force your kid to do what you want. What is it with wanting to control others? To get them to stop picking their nose so much it bleeds, for instance. Ooh, sounds serious. The kid should really stop that.

Why?

Because it will keep bothering her, at which point, especially when tired, she will keep bothering me.

Hmm. Will she die of this condition?

No.

Will I?

.....no.

I have this habit of trying to verbally coerce my kid to stop doing something, or to say thank you or to share or to...whatever it is I want. And while part of that action is well meaning, another part is about control. About winning. I have some ideas where this desire in me comes from, but what I'm sure of is that it is not something I want to keep doing. Making her scared so that she'll do something. Or ashamed. Or the like.

I don't like a part of myself right after we've had this kind of interaction, which tells me there is something not quite noble about it.

So my new mantra is: "Ask. Listen. Let it go...for at least a day." Basically, find out why she does it. Listen to her. Maybe explain why you don't want her to do it (but not with exaggerated consequences) And, really, just drop it for 24-hours. She won't die. I won't die. And she'll get to be in control of herself. Which is how I think it should be.