My dirty little secrets

Guess what? I have a cleaning lady. In the colloquial sense of that phrase, not like I own a human being who sleeps under the couch.

It has taken me quite some time to get used to the idea of having help cleaning house, even back when I was finishing my dissertation full time, or when A started going to daycare. But I'm finally learning how much it helps to have help with the house. I still do the shopping, and recycling, and M and I split the laundry. I cook most nights, dinners that I'm happy to put in front of A. But I rarely do dishes anymore, or clean the floors (which run rampant with dog hairs, but not, due to the dog's tongue, rampant with food around the highchair). Or the bathroom.

About 2 months after we moved here, we hired a cleaning service to come every two weeks. M would have started right on in at every week, but it took him some time to convince me. Yes, my husband advocated not only for cleaning help, but also any other help we need. He's really good that way.

Now, wonderful S, from Montenegro, with whom I speak broken German, comes for a full apartment cleaning once a week, and a few other mornings a week, just for an hour, to do the kitchen and then anything else if there is time. Do you know how wonderful it feels to walk into my bedroom and see the bed made with fresh sheets? I hope I'm not sounding like I'm bragging. If we couldn't afford the help, life would get so much more hectic and tiring. I'm telling you, for those of you who have maybe thought about getting the help, that it is one of the best things our money goes to. I would give up many other things I spend money on before this one. It gives breathing room to our family, and joy.

It means I can spend the extra time getting work done but also still keeping up with the bills and my yoga routine for my back. I can take care of myself enough to have energy for A. Which counts a lot.

Anyway, I thought I'd write about this today, because I think having cleaning help is still somehow taboo in American culture, and women feel like if they aren't completely overwhelmed, they have no right to hire someone to help. So, we have doggie daycare 3x a week, child daycare half time, I work half time, M works full time, we have cleaning help 3 days a week, I order groceries online to be delivered, and we have a babysitter we use for a night out or sending A for an overnight every few weeks, just to stay sane.

Oh, and S is the first person I've actually wanted to learn more German for. Not a local, but for the woman who takes such lovely care of our apartment, and even arranges the dog bed, I've wanted to be able to ask her more about her day, and to communicate better. And in fact, the new words I've learned in German were things like "leave", and others related to the household.